As I do everyday that I work (and some that I don't) I stopped to see Mason on the way to work. The grounds looked so nice! They had mowed and trimmed everything up and it was green and fresh smelling from the rain. The first tingle of unease hit me as I walked over to his place and noticed that there was a new space there next to him. As always, when I see a new little grave it brings back lots of unpleasant memories and today was not a day that I wanted to remember those. My heart couldn't help but ache for those parents that were just beginning the journey I have been on for the last 10 1/2 months. I went over and sat down beside Mason and was wiping off the pieces of cut grass off of his headstone and had an uneasy feeling, something wasn't right. It looked wonderful, so trimmed and mowed, then it dawned on me, his Moose was gone!! Oh my goodness!!! I know...what is the big deal, so his moose isn't there? Well, It had been with him from the get go. The first thing I bought for his nursery when I decided it would be a "Camo" den was that silly moose. Then came the Mossy Oak bedding and clothes etc. but the moose was the beginning. It was in his crib with him every night of his short little life. Ok, so what to do? Well, like any irrational mother, I called my husband! LOL, As if there was much he could do from across town! "His moose isn't here honey!!! It's gone!!" As he tried to calm me down even though he too was quite upset I decided to go over to the funeral home and ask if they might know. Well, as most people know (obviously NOT me) they have to clean things up around there every so often so they can manicure the grounds and so they "dispose" of some of the things left there in Baby Land. I try to pride myself on remaining calm in tense situations. So I calmly asked the gentleman if he could find out where they may have "disposed" of this moose because it was important to me and I would very much like to have it back. What a WONDERFUL man and also the poor young man he sent to find our moose! I followed a truck down the road to where this young man, who I imagine had been having his lunch break, dug down into a dumpster and pulled out my precious moose! Now, I am sure they must deal with a lot of parents who get upset quite easily ( I found myself being one of those today) but I must say that they were all so patient and explained to me why they had to do this. So, I learned that I will not leave Mr. Moose there, I don't want them to have to dig through the dumpster again! After talking to them and calming down I realize that if they left EVERY item there that eventually there would be no room for the children who are the priority. So now, when I take things to our angel, I remove some of the other things that have been there a while and I make sure that those things that I hold dear are not there but at home where I can keep them for as long as I need to. Yes, I do need to keep them, for now at least. Isn't it strange how we put such value into something that could appear to be so trivial to anyone else?
So thank you to the gentlemen who helped me today, thank you for understanding and being willing to dig through a dumpster for this silly Nana, I will remember you both always with much gratitude.