I think back to this day 2 years ago and relive it in my mind. Then I do it again. It still hurts, and the more I relive it the more I cry, get angry, just miss that baby boy.
People like to say that time heals all wounds. I hate to be a pessimist, however, they are very wrong about that. I think a better description of what happens to a parent who has lost their child is not that their pain is "healed" or that it has lessened, but that they have learned how to function in the presence of it. That in itself is a huge accomplishment.
The pain that comes with losing a child is so enormous that you can't begin to describe it. In addition to the loss, most of us deal with anger and questions of why, and maybe even guilt. What if I had checked on him 5 minutes sooner?
To all of the angel mom and dad's let me say:
It's ok to cry, be mad, miss your child. It doesn't go away, the pain doesn't lessen but it DOES become more bearable~well, most days anyway. Some days might sneak up on you and take all the wind out of your sails, you may see that toy they just loved and it could send you into the chasms of hopelessness again. The feeling that you just can't go on l day without them. It's ok to feel that-but know this as well, you WILL make it through. It sucks, it really does, but for some reason we are still here and we will make it. Just take it one mnute at a time.
To our friends and families:
Please don't forget our child! Remember that today is the day we woke up and our world came crashing down. It will never be the same for us, we will never be the same! But we do want to remember them and talk about them, look at their pictures and remember the beautiful eyes, the wonderful smile. If we cry, and we most likely will sometimes, just sit with us and let us wash some of the pain down so it isn't so raw. Holding in tears is like taking out stitches too soon, you cause more damage than anything else. A hug is a great thing. If you don't know what to say, don't say anything, just hold my hand.
To Mason, our sweet, sweet angel,
You will always be loved and missed. You will be thought of every day with an ache in my heart. Someday, we will see you again and that will be a GOOD day.
People like to say that time heals all wounds. I hate to be a pessimist, however, they are very wrong about that. I think a better description of what happens to a parent who has lost their child is not that their pain is "healed" or that it has lessened, but that they have learned how to function in the presence of it. That in itself is a huge accomplishment.
The pain that comes with losing a child is so enormous that you can't begin to describe it. In addition to the loss, most of us deal with anger and questions of why, and maybe even guilt. What if I had checked on him 5 minutes sooner?
To all of the angel mom and dad's let me say:
It's ok to cry, be mad, miss your child. It doesn't go away, the pain doesn't lessen but it DOES become more bearable~well, most days anyway. Some days might sneak up on you and take all the wind out of your sails, you may see that toy they just loved and it could send you into the chasms of hopelessness again. The feeling that you just can't go on l day without them. It's ok to feel that-but know this as well, you WILL make it through. It sucks, it really does, but for some reason we are still here and we will make it. Just take it one mnute at a time.
To our friends and families:
Please don't forget our child! Remember that today is the day we woke up and our world came crashing down. It will never be the same for us, we will never be the same! But we do want to remember them and talk about them, look at their pictures and remember the beautiful eyes, the wonderful smile. If we cry, and we most likely will sometimes, just sit with us and let us wash some of the pain down so it isn't so raw. Holding in tears is like taking out stitches too soon, you cause more damage than anything else. A hug is a great thing. If you don't know what to say, don't say anything, just hold my hand.
To Mason, our sweet, sweet angel,
You will always be loved and missed. You will be thought of every day with an ache in my heart. Someday, we will see you again and that will be a GOOD day.
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